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Goal Setting with Children

Resolutions abound this time of year, and many of us are on track to drink more water, go to bed earlier or get more exercise. While adults tend to feel the pull of a new calendar year, children are more likely to associate fresh starts with a birthday, the start of a school year, the beginning of summer vacation or even a return to the classroom after a long break. Whatever the occasion, goal-setting is a healthy way for children to begin to think about what they want from life and how to get it. Children as young as 4 or 5 are able to begin this process, and we can all benefit from taking the time to formalize our approach. Here are some tips to keep in mind as you think about setting goals with your children or students.
As tempting as it may be to decide on goals for our children, the most empowering experiences will come from self-selected ones. Start by asking your child leading questions to get ideas flowing: What’s a skill you wish you were better at? If you could play any instrument in the world, what would it be? What would make you feel more confident in the world? Is there something that’s going poorly that you’d like to fix?
Once you have a viable idea, help your child break the goal down in concrete ways. The acronym SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound) is so helpful as you talk things through. A goal like getting more sleep is way less helpful than deciding to get 10 hours a night, at least five nights a week, for the whole month of January.
Document and celebrate progress. Tracking progress toward a goal keeps it in focus and celebrating successes, no matter how small, maintains motivation. Ultimately, working toward a goal will supply intrinsic motivation, but small celebratory gestures can help in the early stages or when progress feels slow.
When appropriate, share your own goals, successes and challenges. We all learn the most from our mistakes, and when we’re lucky, we can learn from the mistakes of others as well.
Help your child to reflect on their progress, especially after a goal has been achieved. It’s easy to forget to do this and to just move on to the next, but taking the time to take stock helps to bolster confidence and promotes the process.
The new year may have passed, but there is never a wrong time to get started. Adding to your child’s personal list of healthy life skills is always worth the effort. Best wishes for a healthy, happy and productive 2020!

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